Dedication and Lonelyness

Its been a week since I have started Fixed base simulator training. Its awesome feeling to fly A320. But flying this beautiful airplane is not so easy. I need to work hard to master this plane. Today was 5th session. Capt. Sandeep Rana and Capt. M K Dutta are my instructor. I have never seen cool and down to earth instructors like them. They breif me very well before training session. I could see my instructors are giving more than 100% for my training. But I am lacking somewhere. I am not doing self study and not reading enough after every training session. If I keep doing this then it will be very bad for me. This training is a serious business. I have to stay focused and calm.

Hyderabad is not great city. Atleast the place where I live is very boring. My dad has sold almost everything for my training. We don’t have more money. So I have decided to stay in cheap hostel. Its a 13 feet x 7 feet room which includes washroom. Fan in my room is faulty. It doesn’t fasten up. So it becomes very hot inside. Its not at all good place to stay while doing training but I have no option. Food here is also not good. It is edible but I miss good food. Because of all these sad conditions and environment I feel very lonely in here. I don’t have anyone to talk and share time. I tried to chat with friends on whatsapp. But I can’t ask their time everyday. I guess because I chat very often, people started avoiding me. I have realized one thing in past 4 months- If you tell someone that you have feeling for them, then that person get full authority to play with your emotions.
Now I have decided to not be get into any emotional trauma. Fuck this lonely feeling. Nobody will care about what I do in my life. Today I am lonely and nobody is with me. But when soon when I will be successful and rich man, everyone will be roaming around me. But that time I will never neglect anyone because I know how it feels to get neglected by someone who you like to talk.
March 2013 is vital month for my career. I will be doing core training of my lifetime in this month. So now I don’t have to loose my focus. Its always better to be heartless than looser in lonelyness. I will never forgive those who made me feel lonely. I have stopped contacting everyone who doesn’t care about me and my feelings. Fuck those who don’t give a shit about me. I have proved myself in past times and I will prove it again everytime.
Forget the world. You are champion

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