It was the year 2016 when I began thinking about getting married. I had a nice job, I had purchased a new house and everything was in place. My parents kept asking me about marriage plans and I kept dodging until then. I was not seeing anyone since long and was not close to any girl. So I decided to go to arrange a marriage. I started searching for girls on matrimonial websites. After searching more than a hundred girls, I shortlisted 5 girls. I found out their contact numbers and told my parents to talk to those girl’s parents about marriage.
My parents contacted one girl’s parents and planned a meeting. Our families met after 4 days. I, my parents and my niece went to the girl’s house. At first sight, her family looked well educated and friendly. My family showed interest and she’s responded with the same. A few days later I decided to meet this girl over a coffee. We spoke for 30 minutes over a coffee. By that time I figured out that she is a nice girl. After a few meetings, she said that she has agreed to get married. And at that was the start of chaos in my life.
We got engaged after one month and later got married after five months. During those five months, I had negative feelings about this marriage and was wanting to pull back. I also wrote about this in my diary. But I stayed optimistic and continued and got married in November 2016.
Things were good until a couple months of marriage. After one month, she started complaining that she won’t be able to do any work at home (e.g. making breakfast, grocery shopping, cooking). She said “ I never did such works at my parent’s house. I won’t do it here. I want a full-time maid for these works”. I told her that everybody in this house is having some responsibilities and task. We all have to work as a team and stay happy. Cooking was never an issue because my mom used to cook every day. My mom sometimes used to ask for help. To be honest I always wanted my mom to cook for me because I love what my mom cooks. I never liked what this girl used to cook. She must have never cooked in her entire life. Her cooking was tasteless but I never made a complaint about the food. I was against keeping maid for all jobs.
After a few months, we all went for family dinner. While having dinner at a restaurant, she started arguing with me about food choices. I told her to stay calm and discuss these things as we reach home. But she kept arguing and spoiled family dinner. Later when we reached home, my mom was trying to talk to her and wanted to calm her down. This girl refused to stay calm and started arguing with mom.
We all ignored what happened that day and started living a normal life. I noticed that she never used to talk to my parents. Never used to respect them. My parents are very down to earth and friendly. They live a simple and private life. I had no idea why this girl was so much against my parents.
We did not even complete one year of marriage and one fine day something unexpected happen. It was the day of Lakshmi Poojan (Diwali) in the year 2017. My mom told her to do pooja and said “You are a leading lady in this house and this is your first year in this house. I want you to perform rituals”. She said “No. I want to go to my parent’s house as they are waiting for me”. Unfortunately, I was not at home. I was out of the country and couldn’t handle that situation. She left the house on that auspicious day of Diwali.
After that day, I kept visiting her parent’s house. I wanted her to come back and start living together. Her parents gave me a condition – ‘You have to start living separately from parents. We don’t want our daughter to stay with your parents’. I told them that it is not possible because I believe in a complete family. Staying together brings happiness at home. Her parents and she did not agree. I kept trying for several months but nothing worked. In fact, she and her family used to abuse me and send me back. We also arranged a family meeting and tried to sort out thing. But it did not help. She abused me and my father in front of everyone by calling “You are Bhikari (beggar)”. I still remember those harsh words.
After waiting for seven months I decided to speak to a lawyer. I sent her notice so that she can come back and start staying with me. But she did not respond to that notice. Instead, she wrote an email saying she is happy with her parents and is not coming back unless I leave my parents. I still waited and filed for a divorce.
I thought she will change her mind but she responded with maintenance notice. This complicated things. She is staying away from me, doesn’t want to come back but still demands maintenance.
After the third hearing in court, the judge suffered a heart attack and passed away. That caused six months delay for the next hearing. Yesterday was first hearing with a new judge. He spoke to me and wanted me to rethink about divorce. I told him that I am very much sure about it. As there is no more love and we are not living together for almost two years. Things are not good between us and I want separation.
The judge gave the next hearing date on 9 September 2019. I hope things get sorted out soon and I get a divorce.
I tried and gave my 100% to save this marriage. Later I realised that I was actually begging and lost all self-respect. My bonding with her never went well as there was no mutual understanding. She kept demanding separation. I lost all love an attachment and decided to speak to a lawyer.
In her reply to divorce notice, she has said that “I am ready to sign on divorce papers only if i get one crore rupees (10 million rupees)”.
She is a master in dentistry (MDS). She has her own dental clinic in sector 21, Nerul, Navi Mumbai, MH, India. She is working as a professor in a dental college in Ahmednagar. Her financial condition is very good. She wants more money to stay happy.
The bitter truth in this world is Money > happiness
Update : She agreed for 50 lakh rupees and signed papers. Once someone called me and my father ‘Bhikari’ (begger). Now its clear that who is real Bhikari. Karma is watching 🙂